For High Achievers: How to Break the Holiday Burnout Cycle and Actually Enjoy the Season
The holiday season is supposed to feel warm, cozy, and joyful. But if you’re a high-achiever, it often feels like the opposite: stressful, overwhelming, and strangely exhausting. You’re juggling work demands, family expectations, financial pressure, and routines being thrown off. Unfortunately, high stress season (like the holidays) can be a perfect time for old negative patterns to come barging back in.
You might notice your sleep getting worse, your anxiety spiking, or a familiar sense of dread settling in as December gets closer. And you’re not alone. Many of the high-achieving adults I work with quietly struggle this time of year, even if everything looks fine on the outside. To make matters worse, because there is such an emphasis put on enjoying the holidays, holiday stress is often accompanied by shame. It can be easy to feel like there is something wrong with us when instead of experiencing holiday joy we feel holiday stress, anxiety, or depression.
The good news? There’s nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system is simply reacting to a perfect storm of pressure, stress, and past conditioning. And with the right support, this season can feel different.
Below, I’ll walk you through why the holidays hit high achievers so hard and how EMDR and CBT-I can help you finally break the cycle of burnout and actually enjoy the season.
In this blog, I’ll be discussing why the holidays can be so stressful for high-achievers and how therapy can help.
Hi, I’m Amanda Parmley, MA, LCMHC
I’m Amanda Parmley, MA, LCMHC, a licensed therapist offering online counseling across North Carolina, Kentucky, Florida, and South Carolina. I specialize in anxiety, trauma recovery, perfectionism recovery, and insomnia using evidence-based tools like EMDR, CBT-I and mindfulness.
Ready to start counseling? Click the button below to get started in therapy with me:
Why the Holidays Are Especially Hard for High Achievers
Even if you love the idea of the holidays, they often come with a few very real challenges:
1. Your routine disappears and your brain hates that.
High achievers thrive on structure. The holidays disrupt sleep schedules, break your daily rhythm, and throw your sense of stability off-kilter. For many people, this alone is enough to trigger anxiety or insomnia. While there is nothing inherently bad about holiday parties, family get-togethers, or any other number of other seasonal obligations, they all impede regular routines.
2. Family dynamics can activate old wounds.
You may feel pressure to slip back into the old family roles, such as being: “responsible one,” the “easy one,” or the “emotionally strong one.” These roles feel safe but are also emotionally draining. Even small interactions can trigger old patterns you thought you’d outgrown.
3. The pressure to make everything perfect skyrockets.
Decorating, hosting, gifting, making everyone else happy, high achievers often carry the invisible workload of the season. That load adds up quickly. It’s hard to feel joy and contentment when you’re feeling the weight of holiday demands.
4. You stay “on” more than usual.
More socializing. More decisions. More prep. More emotional labor. Your body is doing far more than it looks like. Staying “on” means less energy and emotional resources available to tackle day to day stressors.
5. Sleep takes a hit.
Later nights, travel, extra sugar, more alcohol, and elevated stress hormones all impact your ability to fall asleep or stay asleep. If you’re someone who is already prone to insomnia, this can mean sleepless nights on top of your regular holiday stress.
The Holiday Trigger Stack: When New Stress Meets Old Patterns
For many high achievers, the holidays activate a mix of:
Old memories
Past dynamics
Perfectionism
People-pleasing
Hypervigilance
Fear of disappointing others
Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotional experience
Your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between now and the patterns you learned decades ago. It simply tries to keep you safe. This is why you may feel more anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed than usual,even when nothing “bad” is happening.
How Insomnia Fits Into the Holiday Stress Cycle
Insomnia almost always worsens when:
Your routine shifts
Your stress increases
You feel pressure to “perform”
You’re activated or triggered
You’re trying too hard to sleep
And if you’re a high achiever, you may be familiar with the pattern of lying awake thinking:
“I have to sleep.”
“I’m going to feel terrible tomorrow.”
“I should’ve gone to bed earlier.”
Those thoughts often spike anxiety, making sleep even harder.
This is where CBT-I can be life-changing.
How CBT-I Helps You Sleep Better During the Holidays
CBT-I is the gold-standard, research-backed treatment for insomnia. It works because it:
Resets your body’s sleep drive
Reduces nighttime anxiety
Breaks the cycle of racing thoughts
Rebuilds healthy sleep patterns—even during stressful seasons
Many clients tell me they start sleeping better within the first few weeks.
If you’re in North Carolina. Kentucky, South Carolina, or Florida, I offer CBT-I online so you can start sleeping better without disrupting your busy schedule.
How EMDR Supports a Calmer, More Grounded Holiday Season
If the holidays tend to activate old patterns in your body or bring up emotional reactions that surprise you, EMDR can help you:
Reduce emotional reactivity
Break long-standing family roles
Stay grounded when others are overwhelmed
Stop falling into perfectionist or people-pleasing patterns
Feel more present and relaxed
EMDR helps your nervous system unhook from those old responses so you can move through the season feeling more like yourself.
I work with high achievers who want to heal old wounds and finally enjoy life without the constant sense of pressure.
5 Simple Ways to Break the Holiday Burnout Cycle (Starting Today)
1. Set one small but powerful boundary.
This might be leaving 30 minutes early, skipping one event, or saying no to hosting.
2. Keep one consistent ritual that grounds you.
A morning walk, a quiet cup of coffee, a 10-minute wind-down routine, anything that helps your system regulate. Something is always better than nothing.
3. Give yourself permission to do “good enough.”
Perfectionism is optional. Presence is the goal.
4. Notice your triggers without judging them.
Awareness is step one. Regulation comes next. Try not to beat yourself up for feeling triggered in the moment.
5. Protect your sleep like it’s your job.
A calming routine and consistent wake time can completely change your mood during the season.
If You Want This Season To Feel Different, Support Is Available
The holidays don’t have to feel like something you need to “push through.” You deserve a season that feels peaceful, grounded, and actually enjoyable not one that leaves you drained or overwhelmed.
If you’re a high achiever in Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina, or Florida, and you’re tired of repeating the same patterns:
I offer EMDR and CBT-I to help you sleep better, lower anxiety, and break the cycle of holiday burnout.
Start Counseling with Amanda Parmley
When you’re ready to breathe again, I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone. Whether you’re navigating burnout, anxiety, or just feeling stuck, therapy can help you reclaim your sense of balance and well-being.
I offer specialized support using EMDR, CBT, and mindfulness approaches — always tailored to you.
How to Start Therapy with Amanda Parmley, MA, LCMHC:
1. Click the button below to request a free 15-minute consultation.
2. Complete
the required screener
& take the phone call from Amanda Parmley at the prearranged & agreed-upon time.
3. Start your journey
to feeling better.
Additional Services Offered by Amanda Parmley, MA, LCMHC:
In addition to supporting stress and burnout recovery, I specialize in:
Anxiety and panic
Trauma and PTSD
Low self-esteem and perfectionism
Insomnia and stress-related sleep issues
Interested in attending therapy from the comfort of your own home?
I offer online therapy in Kentucky, North Carolina, Florida, and South Carolina.