You may know the past is over, but that does not always mean it feels over.  Whether it's our recent past or situations that occurred years ago, for better or worse the past shapes us in ways that are sometimes difficult to understand. Unfortunately, we are not solely impacted by our past positive experiences and are frequently also shaped by past negative events.

Are you the person who can tell when someone’s tone changes by half a degree?

A shorter text. A weird pause. A facial expression that feels slightly off. Before you know it, your mind is replaying what happened, wondering if you did something wrong, and trying to figure out how to make things okay again. Some people are merely good at reading the room, while you are great at it. 

Do you say yes before you have time to think? Do you overexplain because you do not want to seem rude? Maybe you agree to things you do not actually have the energy for, then feel resentful, anxious, or completely drained afterward.

You may be the person other people describe as dependable, thoughtful, organized, capable, or “so strong.” You get things done. You show up. You answer the messages. You make the appointments. You remember the details. You keep going, even when you feel completely drained.

And when someone asks how you are, you may automatically say, “I’m fine.”

But fine does not always mean peaceful. “Fine” may mean you are functioning. It may mean you have learned how to keep moving while feeling tense, overwhelmed, disconnected, or emotionally exhausted underneath the surface. For many people, “fine” is the word they use when “I’m burned out” feels too vulnerable to say. ”